My girlfriend has cheated on me 4 times, and now I feel paranoid when she’s not home. What should I do?

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insider@insider.com (Julia Naftulin)

Crystal Cox/Insider; Samantha Lee/Insider

  • If you want to rebuild trust, you need to speak candidly about how the affairs made you feel, and how you’re struggling to trust her.
  • But you also need to be prepared to hear why she felt compelled to cheat — whether it was because she felt lonely in your dynamic, or she’s not as committed to monogamy.
  • Once you’re both on the same page, you can decide how to best move forward, if at all. If your girlfriend isn’t willing to talk about what she did, that’s a major red flag.
  • Have a question for Julia? Fill out this anonymous form. All questions will be published anonymously. You can read more Doing It Right here.

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for four years now. During that time, she’s cheated on me with four men, but I still let her into my life.

She currently works as a receptionist in a hotel, and all sorts of men ask her for her number. She gives it to them without hesitation, and when I confronted her about it, she asked if anyone had called our house and said she would end the calls right away if they say anything stupid.

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